It took me a while to really channelize things I wanted to mention here because it is not just something I have dealt with, but many of us go through this every day. We all have that one significant person in our lives who made sure you were miserable. So here’s an ode to that person…
Do you remember the first time we had met? That first touch of hand? And the day you chose to leave me over someone or something else? I might not remember when we met first, because I have been busy erasing memories of you, but I cannot forget a lot of other things. Like when I would call you over and again but you just wouldn’t care, like those several nights I couldn’t sleep since it just got too painful. Like all those gifts I made and not bought days before your birthday and you turned all of them down. Dear ex, I also haven’t forgotten those bitter words you said the day I specially traveled just to make it all right. Those days when it was hard for you to spend time with me, but you always were my priority. For months and maybe a whole year I was an insomniac, maybe depressed too. Because I was all alone, with no one to hear my silent voices but you were having a ball. And that final call, which holds meaningless.
It probably is over half a decade, and let’s say we came across each other again today. Looking at each other I’d wonder what thoughts are running through our peculiar minds. But I would probably not take any longer but greet you at first…
Ever since, I have met new people, met new friends, living a new life. I have been a better version of myself. If you had met the Me now, you would probably not feel anything for me. The void of your absence had filled in with pain that I had begun to love. But guess what? Even when you were wearing a mask of fresh apologies, I had walked over you, over us. That anger and those regrets are all past, long gone. Love knows no boundaries, nor did I, so I fell in. And for who I am and how I am, I am loved and I know it’ll never be any of those disturbing nights again. I know someone has my back in better and worse. Even if I didn’t have someone, I am still fierce and stronger, and happier than ever.
So Dear ex, you have actually helped me being a better person. Even though there are times that you happen to appear in my mind like a windblown hair, I will still always know that we parted for good.
There are infinities that exist, within my soul, and you will always be a part of it. Just a little less, maybe fainted.
A fading memory.