Wow, it is our first wedding anniversary already and I am having a hard time accepting it (because somehow marriage anniversaries has something to do with age in my head, LOL). I think marriages are over-rated. What you’re made to think and what ends up happening is all about how as a couple you choose to tread the way. Especially if you are in a love marriage, you will be more comfortable with each other when it comes to the ‘living together’ part. Most days we almost felt like we weren’t married and the honeymoon phase was an ongoing thing in our close to 5 year relationship. But some days were not so cool, I’d hit an all time low and wanted to run away and I am sure, he wanted to too! We have out bits of regret and bigger chunks of happier memories but well, that’s exactly what marriage is right?
When I was getting married, and almost wanted to elope from everything because of the fears, I used to wonder what are the things no one tells you about marriage. So, in the first year, I sure know some.
Things no one tells you about marriage
Now, here’s the thing about this list, it is experiential and all of us experience this. Literally. When you have chosen spend the rest of your life with the one you love, not everything is a fairy tale. However, whatever part is not, it brings you two much closer because you start understanding each other better.
- You begin to see the worst of each other: Yes, that happens. Unless you have been in a live-in to first see how living together might work, after marriage, you discover a lot of things about each other. A lot of things might feel unpleasant, but as time passes, you know how to rectify these things and move ahead.
- Compromising is a major thing: It is, and you cannot escape this process. That’s the whole things about marriages and especially between people who love each other.
- There is a pressure of things: This cannot be explained well, but lets just say experiences vary but you will feel the pressure definitely.
- Your plans will change/alter/or get cancelled often: There will be sudden guests, or a commitment which needs to be met and you just cannot refuse. Plans do get a hit then.
- You will be angry, but expressing it will not always work: If you’re two headstrong people, this becomes a problem initially. And honestly, this has no cure, you have to keep in mind no.2 right up there. However, over the years, as understanding builds, you will be able to express better and you significant other will absorb it better.
- You will be expected to perform chores and run errands more than your significant other: Yep, that’s a thing. But what can you really do huh?
- You would crave for some alone time: Yes you will, and it’s completely okay. You can just be yourself going around shopping or sipping away that coffee without your partner and you must. Especially if you need to clear your head.
- Everything will become one from ‘1+1=2’: Everything, because you will not be deciding for yourself anymore. You become us now.
- Small things will seem to change: Those little gestures he/she made earlier while you were dating will change. And there’s nothing to worry about it. After all, you’re united for life now. There are more things to do together and explore things.
- (Girls) People will presume/assume your Surname has changed: It annoys me a bit, not that I didn’t want to do it myself, but to my surprise my friends would assume that too. And so all the time I need to clarify that I have my maiden’s as well as my husband’s surname in my name. Sigh.
- There will be a lot of relatives, but they will never haunt you: I was always in a nuclear family. Haven’t seen many relatives around much ever. After getting married, there were so many people I met and we still meet often. They will make you comfortable and if you accept them with open arms, family is an amazing thing to be with.
- You get married to the family: Took me a while to settle to this, but yes, the marriage is not just to your husband/wife but their families too.
- Egos don’t vanish, you learn to settle: That’s an important note and I would suggest you make it. We all have to learn to settle and take in all the positivity we can to keep the wheels running.
- His/Her peculiar habits will drive you crazy: Yep, sigh. But ignore a bit and nudge a bit and it begins to work the way you like.
- You won’t always have something to talk: “We used to talk so much, we had the world to discuss about, what happened to us now?”. You will ask that question often to yourself, but hey what’s the problem in sharing some silence really?
- You will hate each other but that’s okay: If you don’t hate each other enough to be wanting to kill each other, well, then you were not meant to be. And I know I and my boyfriend-turned-husband are meant to be together. This is definitely one of the things no one tells you about marriage.
- You will have to learn to ignore: No point raising your blood pressure on every small things, so just ignore.
- Marriage is a never-ending job: It is work and you cannot stop doing things that keeps its essence alive.
- Your marriage will never be boring: One of the other things no one tells your about marriage is that marriages are not boring. It’s actually another world of fun and happy things you will always want with you. It’ll not just make you go crazy but also give you the happiest memories and experiences you would ever have.
- You will be each other’s pillar when things go South: You can always count on each other. That’s one huge perk of marriage.
If you just got married, or you are about to, here are the things no one will tell your about marriage. You may or may not read it, because the experiences differ. In last one year, we have grown so much as a couple. We have learnt to be happy in the worst, stabilized any sinking ship that we were on. When you know your priorities as a couple, you also know what matters. Be each other’s biggest inspiration, be thankful and express gratitude and every day of each year you live together will be a celebration.
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